"Excuse me while I go staple my head back on."

 

"B*tch, my man ain't your daddy's baby!" (Meant: "B*tch, my man ain't your baby's daddy!")

 

"Freshly squeezed from a baby's bottom."

 

"If love is supposed to be such a great thing, then why does it hurt so much?"

 

"Whatever floats your boat..."

 

"He/She really frosted my cookies..."